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You're a beautiful writer Orla. As an ex-English teacher, you're a delight to read! : ) Thank you for sharing this incredibly honest insight into your world as you live it. I'm incredibly pleased to hear your ship has left it's safe harbour. It doesn't belong there. You have far too much creativity in you that the world needs.

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If only it didn't take me 3 months to write something 😆... well that's not actually true... I wrote and posted this in one day because I had stored up so much frustration, disappointment and aggravation at myself for at my months of half writing and half posting that I could have written a novel of self flagellation. Thank you so much lovely, if only my art teacher was as wonderful as you were as an english teacher - but then what the feck would I write about 😂!

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Love that Orla, both listened and read

Don't worry about your 4 year old, this is life in all it's glory :-)

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Thank you Marie-Louise - it sure is and she’s a whirlwind 🍃 🥰

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You, adult Orla, isn’t lost at sea. Your inner child feels that way. So talk to her and tell her that shaggy man in the art class is crap at so many other things she is good at and it’s time to leave the harbour. You don’t need to sail with reckless abandon. You can just float on the breeze. We can’t be reckless when we have children and relationships - maybe just a brief redefinition is what’s called for? Anyway I think you already know this. It’s part of the journey and your inner child is coming with you but you are the captain of the ship and she is a passenger. You can take care of her just fine on this voyage. Shes the one that needs to trust that. Sending you a hug and one for your inner child too.

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Thankfully I dealt with shaggy dog by finally allowing myself to paint a few years ago. Abstracts allowed me to move past the ‘rules of Art’. My inner child has a hard time breaking through to be sure, I see so much of her in my daughter, the similarities are breathtaking at times. I’ve a lifetime of masking to fit in, to suppress my intuition, to the point where there are times when I question my own concept of self - is that really me or just a construct? Every day is a school day 😊

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Beautiful post Orla and lovely to listen to you read it. Interesting analogy with ship in harbour. I hear the challenge of life, the historical hurts, the wisdom of you in the here and now, the seeking of purpose, path and expression... and the promise of something more.

I hear all of this. Keep going, the expression of this was meant to be, is very important, next step, next foot down now.

Onwards, in your own good time.

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You are such an inspiration to me, I've lost count of the amount of times I've advised and cheered on other people ships, watching them sail into the sunset on their own unique journey and then using their success as further proof of my own brokenness as I stay moored to the shore. Realising that I'm not still there is a real break though - I'll take lost at sea, it means I've no choice but to venture out, keep going and make it work. The alternative is to drown and I just can't allow that to happen.

Thank you so much for the gorgeous comment and support ❤️

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