Love / Hate
An Alt Valentines Proposal
What is the opposite of love?
My first instinct, like most people's, was hate.
This question was asked while I read A Course In Miracles (I've not gotten very far - it might take me years to finish!). The answer it gives is that the opposite of Love is Fear. Every so often a simple saying or thought comes into my sphere and changes how I see the world - this was one of them. Fear creates hate. Fear creates anger. Fear creates most of the negative emotions and behaviours we experience and try as I might, I cannot not unsee this.
Much of what is happening in the world lately has felt like a Black Mirror episode. All of it a manifestation of fear - hate, greed, lies, corruption and propaganda. All of this fear is being used like weapons to destroy communities, progress and cultures so an ever smaller proportion of the population can grab power and control. Power and control only exist where there is fear.
So, where am I going with this? On this day of meaningless, commercially driven tokenism how can we take back control over fear and cast a vote for love? What little ways can we cast a vote - connect with just one new person - digitally or just by smiling or saying something nice to someone we pass on the street? We could build bridges with loved ones and friends we have become alienated from, donate to causes we care about or by take the time to listen to someones problem without judgement or the need to provide a solution.
Could we give flowers to a helpful neighbour simply because we love them for being there, message our friends to let them know we are thinking of them and then receive love in return.
Instead of a day of perceived obligation and performance for couples, wouldn't it be great if Valentine's Day was a call to all types of love and a denouncement of division. A day when we reach across the barricades to say - we may not agree but I see you and I want to be open to communication and connection. A day when we take back control of our fear from the media, war machines and power brokers who seek to keep us divided.
I am writing this to push past my fear, I am putting this out into the great open waters of the internet to get past months of procrastination, perceived powerlessness and self imposed silence as I grappled with the validity and purpose of my insignificant voice. I am writing this to connect to you - my beautiful reader - and sending you all my love to let you know that I am open to communication and connection 🤗.
Happy Alt Valentines Day to one and all 😘
Thanks Orla. I wrote a poem this morning, never thought to publish it on Substack until I saw your post. I think the opposite to love is apathy. Caring vs not caring. It's a difficult one. I don't like a course in miracles, never read it, never want to. So you don't have to finish it! In times where language is being weaponised, where we cannot have an opinion unless it blends with the lamestream narrative, I choose to fill my social media with love. So I published my poem, and I am here to applaud your overcoming of fear. Fear is at one end, courage at the other. We are lions. Hear us roar!
What a lovely reconnection post Orla. And on Valentines Day. I am very much in the anti-forcing of feelings camp .... but definitely pro love in all its many guises.
Adore the idea I was reminded of earlier of Wabi Sabi - the beauty of the imperfection. And my love journey has been an experience of that (!!) The light gets in this way as Leonard Cohen sang, or the gold is used to highlight the beauty of the cracks in Wabi Sabi art. Love the raw, broken, imperfect beauty in nature, and in love to be honest.
Those connection moments come easier some days than others, but overall it's the noticing the opportunity when they arise, giving in to them, they can be unexpected, not resist the urge to reach out and grab them, or receive them with grace. Such a big part of the loving journey ... and very little to do with the 14th of February!